A woman shares a candid narrative about her ongoing involvement with a married man, acknowledging that despite guilt and multiple attempts to break free, she finds herself unable to terminate the affair.
She explains that the liaison commenced after the man informed her that he and his spouse were on the verge of divorcing.
Later, she learned that the marriage remained intact and characterized the man’s wife as a compassionate and respectable individual.
How She Encountered the Man’s Wife
Describing the face‑to‑face meeting, she said it left her feeling embarrassed, especially after learning about the couple’s background, their family dynamics, and the possible repercussions for their children.
She confessed that she had initially ended the relationship, but after the man repeatedly begged her to stay, she reconciled with him.
Although she recognizes the emotional strain the situation has placed on everyone concerned, she admits that she still feels attached to him and finds it difficult to walk away.
She often experiences inner conflict because the bond brings her joy while simultaneously burdening her with remorse.
Furthermore, she expressed sympathy for the man’s wife, emphasizing that her continued participation is not motivated by ill will toward her.
The post then includes her personal statement, presented in italics.
Ifeeeee, this is me. I feel like I might need rehabilitation if there were a program for people in my situation. I wonder if I’m under some spell or if he’s done something to me. I’m Mpasa; my friends have spoken and prayed for me, yet I remain trapped. I am involved with a married man who once told me he and his wife were separating. That was three years ago, and only after a year together did I discover that his wife is actually a kind-hearted woman.
Prior to this, I had never been involved with a married man, and the affection he shows me is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I confronted him about the situation; he pleaded with me, declared his love, and suggested we stay together until I find someone else. I agreed, though I’m unsure why.
His wife showed up at my workplace to see me; I was frightened and stunned. How did she get in? She’s a friend of my executive director. She sat with me in my office, recounting how she met her husband, describing their joint efforts to build their wealth, noting how close he is to his children, and warning that if they learned about me, they’d lose respect for their father.
That day I burst into tears because I felt ashamed. I broke things off with him, but he stormed into my house angry, then shifted to begging, which led me to take him back.
Since then, his wife has called me up to four times, and I have avoided answering due to shame. I keep telling myself I’m single and looking for a relationship, yet virtually everyone in Lagos is aware of my involvement with this man. Where should I turn? Ife, I promise I’ve attempted to leave, but I’ve now surrendered.
Perhaps my destiny is to become a second wife. Maybe I need the community’s prayers. I wish to release myself from this. The astonishing fact is that he isn’t a womanizer; our bond keeps tightening, and while I feel increasing shame, I’m unable to end it. He brings me joy, yet I feel sorrow for myself knowing I’m causing pain to his wife.
I realize you may not comprehend, and perhaps I’m merely venting. I hope that if his wife reads this, she understands that I feel trapped and that my intentions are not hostile toward her.
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